With This Ring I Thee Wed….Someday

Yesterday’s post got me thinking about relationships. It seems almost everyone I know is either married, getting married or in a committed relationship. It kinda feels weird being single.

As I’d mentioned previously, I’ve come across a few people who believe in marriage as an ultimate goal and keep reminding me that I’m running out of time. I didn’t realize there was a deadline (other than the literal ‘dead’ line, I suppose), but apparently I need to get moving.

Personally, I don’t think I’ve got the emotional maturity to handle marriage right now. It’s a very big commitment and I don’t want to make any sort of lifelong vow that either ends up being broken or binds me forever into a relationship from which there’s no escape. I also don’t want to be the asshole that screws up someone else’s life because I got married to ‘beat the clock’. That being said, I would like to be in some sort of relationship. ‘Single and loving it’ I’ve often said, but rarely meant.

There is, of course, the matter of finding the right woman. That’s something of a prerequisite, from my understanding. I have no idea how to get there either. When I was in high school, friends and loved ones would tell me there was no rush for a relationship. There was someone meant for me and I’d find them eventually. It was such a comforting and romantic notion at 15. Now, it’s horseshit.

What are the chances that exactly one person in this whole world is exactly right for me and that they are also somewhere in my immediate vicinity? Not so good. Where do I even begin to look? Bars? Clubs? Steakhouses? I have no clue. I’d briefly considered online dating as an option before discovering that online dating sites are blocked in Dubai. So that’s one road closed off.

As with most things in life, I find myself in two minds. On the one hand, there is an elusive quest to find someone that can look past my various idiosyncrasies, laugh at my corny jokes and supply some corny jokes of her own. On the other hand, can I handle bringing someone else into my world and letting them become an important part of it? Am I ready for that kind of responsibility and commitment?

It’s a difficult question to ponder. So I just play video games instead.

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Want My Advice?

You’ve got a problem of some sort? Oh, I know what to do. Just fix it! See? Problem solved!

There are advisors lurking everywhere, just waiting for you to present them an issue they can deliver their opinion on. Are you trying to lose weight? They have the perfect diet plan or fitness regimen to suggest. Looking to buy a house? Their thoughts on real estate are boundless. Unlucky in love? They’ll not only give you relationship advice, but also happily remind you that you’re getting on in years and should settle down soon!

Usually, they skulk around among the distant relatives, the aunts and uncles you only see on special occasions. But they can also take the guise of co-workers or friends of friends. Everyone of them has the keys to a happy life and they’ll gladly hand them to you if you’ll just listen. Like one of my colleagues, or even some colleagues from my previous job. They’ve got very strong opinions on marriage and when people should get married. I’m apparently getting over the hill and should settle down fast. The countdown’s begun, people! One of my former colleagues looked at me like I had antlers sprouting from my nostrils when I suggested that I might not get married till I’m 40. The idea was incomprehensible to him.

I should point out that both of those colleagues are Indian, and marriage is a pretty big deal in Indian culture. It’s basically the ultimate achievement of any young person’s life. If you’re not working hard and raising a family, then what the hell are you doing? Well, I’m writing, reading, drawing and playing video games. Oops.

Also, women should get married before 30. Yep. So says my advisor. It doesn’t apply to men, though. Only women.

I have also been advised, by many people, to take a cab whenever I need to get around, even a short distance. Why would I want to walk anywhere? That’d just be crazy. Never mind that I like walking, and generally prefer it to vehicular travel. But in the Dubai heat? No, no. Take a cab. Even though I’ve grown up here and learned to work around the heat. Apparently everyone else knows better.

Financial planning, career management, even breathing (probably). Any random person around you will have most informed perspective on the matter. Should you even mention the subject in passing, they’ll be all too eager to shower you with advice.

So there you go. If you’re looking to fix your life, just ask the guy next to you. He knows best. And will also probably tell you something dismissive about women because man, some people are just awful.