Trigger

An odd thing happened yesterday.

I had opened an Instagram account a few years ago, almost on a whim. I posted images at random, and quite sporadically. A few months ago, I revamped my account, using it to showcase my hobbies and my artwork. The old posts were still there though, remnants of a forgotten time. One of the images was from my mom’s birthday. The last birthday we got to celebrate with her. In it, my mom’s biting into a piece of cake while making a funny face, and my dad’s standing next to her with his arm wrapped around her, smiling. It was fun, goofy picture that I loved at the time.

Yesterday, someone checked out my page and liked a bunch of my pictures, which was great. I noticed I also had a new comment notification, which was pretty exciting too. Until I saw what it was. The person had liked the picture of my mom’s birthday and left the message: ‘Best wishes to her’.

I can’t really describe how that made me feel. Over the past two years, I’ve mostly come to terms with my mom’s passing. It’s something that I can never really forget, but not something I think about much. My family and I can discuss my mom or events related to her without getting emotional about it and go on with our lives without that fact hanging over us. But seeing this cheery message from a stranger, wishing my mom the best, flooded me with a sense of sadness I haven’t felt in some time. It was an unintentionally harsh reminder that my mother exists only as a memory now.

This person is not to blame, of course. He was just being friendly, extending some kind words in response to a happy moment. How could he know that the moment captured in that image was so fleeting? And I feel a bit stupid getting so worked up over a harmless comment. But it goes to show just what an impact only a few simple words can make. It’s why I wanted to be a writer.

Guess I need to go work on something happy now.

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6 thoughts on “Trigger

  1. (((((Hugs))))) I have empathy for your situation. I think we feel our parents will always be with us. When they pass it throws our body into shock and disbelief. Wether they pass from a sudden event….. Or watching them wither away….. We feel as if we lost our super hero. At least that’s how it feels to me. I lost my mom (best friend) 15 years ago…… She still resides in my daily thoughts. Miss her deeply.

    Sending love and hugs to you, my friend ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Carisa. I really appreciate it.

      It was just so unexpected, that jolt of emotion that hit me. It’ll take a little while to shake it off fully, and I appreciate the support.

      I’m so very sorry to hear about your loss as well. It’s unreal losing someone that’s been such a large presence in your life for so long.

      Much love and many hugs to you. ❤

      Like

  2. Those moments do come like a lightning bolt, don’t they? 2 years isn’t very long is it? I bet it flew by- it did for me.

    Once when I was younger, I smelled the scent of my grandmother’s powder and I fell to pieces. I was astounded

    Liked by 1 person

    • It feels like it was yesterday, but at the same time it feels like it was so long ago.

      But yes, it does amaze me how the most unexpected things can cause such strong reactions.

      Like

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