Ins and Outs

Doors. They open and close, swinging on rusting hinges. If you’re a gentleman, you’ll hold the door open for a lady, or for anyone that might be following you into the doorway. Slamming it shut is a sign of rudeness or anger or both. They’re really quite a pain in the ass.

Why can’t we have the sliding doors from Star Trek? We’ve got them on trains and in department stores, so why not switch to that as the default for all homes and offices too? It would make life so much easier. No more worries abut door slamming, no need to worry about leaving the door unlocked or anything. And especially no worries about accidentally opening the door into someone’s face.

Like the other day, when I clobbered an elderly gentleman. In our office bathroom, the door opens inward and is adjacent to the sinks, which means if you’re washing your hands in the sink closest to the door, you’re in danger. One fine day, I walked into the bathroom, pushing the door open and promptly slamming it into the poor man who was just trying to clean his hands without running the risk of death. If it were a sliding door, the whole scenario would have played out without any bodily harm. Why, door? Why must you be built like that?

It’s bizarre that the only way we can enter or exit a room is by swinging a heavy rectangular slab that can potentially move right into someone walking toward it. Or worse, someone standing by it, minding their own business. Just what is the statistic on door-related deaths, anyway?

Now I know it’s impossible to ask that every door in every building across the world be turned into a sliding door. That’s a ridiculous expectation. But as we create the buildings of tomorrow, let’s look to the future of the past in Star Trek, and consider a means of entering a room that doesn’t involve a hinged battering ram.


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