Conversations With A Strange Mind: Hellos, How-Are-Yous, And Things Like That

“It’s Sunday!”

“Yep, sure is.”

“You know what that means!”

“It’s the last day of the weekend for most folks and the first day of the week here.”

“Well, yeah, and…”

“And it’s actually cloudy today, so there’s some solid irony going on.”

“What? Oh, yes, so there is…aaaannnnd…”

“And…I wonder what’s for lunch?”

“Sigh. And it’s when we introduce our new weekly bit!”

“Oh, you mean Conversations With A Strange Mind?”

“Yes, that’s the one.”

“Ah, right. Welcome to Conversations With A Strange Mind, where – ”

“You’re welcoming me?”

“No, not you. The readers. I’m welcoming them by…talking…to you. Well that can’t be right. How do we introduce our bit if we’re only going to be talking to each other?”

“Through the use of natural dialogue, maybe? Like, ‘Hey, is it Sunday already? Boy, looks like we’ll be having Conversations With A Strange Mind today. The weekly bit where we post random thoughts in the form of a dialogue between you and me, aka your brain!'”

“That over-explained word salad is your idea of natural dialogue?”

“You’d prefer talking to an imaginary audience?”

“They’re not imaginary! They’re right…there, somewhere. I don’t know. We can figure that out later, I guess. First, let’s decide what we’re gonna talk about. What ideas do you have floating around in the ol’ brain juice?”

“Well, first of all, gross. Secondly, I dunno. Been kind of a regular week, hasn’t it? Just all so week-like.”

“Week-like seems like an apt but pointless description of a week.”

“Your face is pointless!”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Neither does your face.”

“…”

“Hah! Looks like your sarcasm blew up in your nonsensical face, didn’t it?”

“We really should stop sniping at each like this, you know. It just doesn’t look right, a man fighting with his own mind. Think of the deep existential and psychological despair it conveys, the madness that must gnaw away deep in the core of a man’s head for him to be in constant battle with his very thoughts.”

“You’re saying it makes you look insane in the membrane.”

“If it helps you get the point.”

“Well, they say membranous insanity is the worst kind of insanity.”

“Nobody says that.”

“Or maybe they do and you just don’t notice because you’re busy going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

“I feel like you’re not taking this matter seriously.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You’re right. We should work together, in harmony and junk. Just a couple of chums hanging out harmoniously. Let’s hug it out, man.”

“Uh..hug it out?”

“Yeah, lay it on me, dude. Just a big ol’ hug. It’s all good.”

“People are wondering why I’ve got one arm wrapped around my head.”

“That’s cause it’s weird. You gotta hug with both arms, man!”

“I feel like that would hinder my typing ability and also raise further questions about my state of mind.”

“Don’t be such a baby. C’mere and give your brain a hug.”

“Words I never thought I’d hear.”

“That’s why you leave the thinking to me, old chum. That’s why you leave the thinking to me.”

“Yeah, this is definitely going to affect my typghkfldkdjhitilto4t9dls.v.;r;pwo3i”

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